Film Review: Playmobil: The Movie

Originally published December 12, 2019

This is a musical. Why did it have to be a musical? This didn’t need to be a musical.

There have been many comparisons between Playmobil: The Movie and The Lego Movie. Not all of them are warranted. There are live-action sequences in both and both trade on brand names and a certain amount of nostalgia (and are musicals), but Playmobil’s plot has more in common with something like The Pagemaster than The Lego Movie. Lego used its live-action sequences as a twist to put the rest of the film into context. The live-action scenes in Playmobil ultimately drive most of the plot.

Siblings Marla (Anya Taylor-Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman) are sucked into a Playmobil exhibit at a toy convention and have to find a way to return to the real world. There is nothing you haven’t seen before. One might say the same about The Lego Movie. At least The Lego Movie was good.

There’s no stakes here. We know they’re going to get out alive because we’ve seen this before in countless kids movies. It’s extremely paint-by-numbers and doesn’t dare try to introduce elements that might spice things up.

Playmobil: The Movie is a disaster. There are two good things about it: Jim Gaffigan as a walking Del Taco joke and one chase scene involving stockades. Gaffigan seems to have a lot of fun as a taco truck driver, but he and Daniel Radcliffe as a James Bond pastiche, are the only ones who seem to have given any thought about their roles.

Neither was any thought seemingly given to most of the character designs. None of them are memorable and Marla’s Playmobil character has specific characteristics that don’t even match up with her real-life self. Charlie’s Playmobil form is a Viking, but he also carries a Viking with him throughout the entire first act. Marla’s character design is just…bad. This isn’t even getting into the main villain, who is just a pale grey Byzantine emperor type with an extremely grating voice.

The songs aren’t catchy or memorable, most of the actors cannot sing and there are extended periods where there aren’t any. Some musicals can get away with a lack of musical numbers (1776 and La La Land come to mind), but Playmobil doesn’t justify it at all. It doesn’t justify having any songs to start.

Frankly, I’m not sure the movie’s existence is justified.

Final score: 3.0/10